December 21, 2012
Posted in Artwork, Child Alters, DID Education, DID/MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotional pain, Mind Control, Physical Abuse, Ritual Abuse, sexual abuse, Trauma tagged 21 December, Broken, December 21, DID / MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dissociative Trauma Survivors, Kathy Broady, Light, RA, Ritual Abuse, SRA, Summer Solstice, Trauma, Trauma Survivors, Winter Solstice at 4:12 pm by Kathy Broady
It’s Winter Solstice week — time that is often difficult for far too many dissociative trauma survivors. It’s a time where days are short, and nights are long. Far too long. It’s a day where light feels complicated. Fractured. Broken. Dark.
I haven’t forgotten. I know that many of you are hurting and remembering intense hurts right now.
This year, I wanted to write something not as heavy, but still acknowledging the difficulties of this week. As you all know, from my recent comments, I am enjoying a new Ipad and all its options. Today, I’m going to post two pictures that I took myself, with this Ipad, while exploring its funny photo options.
There is much innocence in this pictures. Believe me, if you could see me fumbling around like a country bumpkin with this new fancy technology, you would roll your eyes at my utter rediculousness-ness-ness in the process of taking the photos. For that matter, what they look like are pure coincidence, lol.
But, to my surprise, as pretty as these pictures are, they still remind me of trauma issues related to DID / MPD.
What do you see in these pictures?
And….
.
What do you like / dislike about these pictures?
Do they relate to your trauma history in any way?
What comforts do you see in these pictures?
What triggers do you see in these pictures?
How do these pictures relate to the Solstice times of your life?
Your thoughts and comments are welcome.
And, more importantly than anything else, I hope that, even little by little, you find deeper healing today. Hold your insiders near to you. Be kind to each other, and ever so gently support yourselves.
Warmly,
Kathy
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December 21, 2010
Posted in DID/MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotional pain, Ritual Abuse, Trauma tagged AbuseConsultants.com, Compassion, Current-day Safety, Dallas TX, Darkness, DID / MPD, DID Survivors, Dissociative Survivors, emotional pain, Empathy, Freedom, Full Moon, Healing from Ritual Abuse, Kathy Broady, Longest Night of the Year, Lunar Eclipse, Moon, Picturing Dissociative Identity Disorder, RA, Ritual Abuse, Ritually Abused, Sadness, Safety, Safety from Abuse, Safety from Perpetrators, Season Change, Shortest Day of the Year, Spiritually Abused, The Dark Day, Trauma Survivors, Winter Solstice at 10:39 pm by Kathy Broady
Well…. it’s December 21, 2010. Although the weather here in Dallas was nearly 80 degrees Fahrenheit today, this is the official first day of winter. It’s the Winter Solstice and on top of that, last night was the lunar eclipse. Did anyone see that? If you can actually enjoy the moon, it was pretty cool to see.
However, late last night while I was standing alone outside, quietly looking at the lunar eclipse, I could appreciate the beauty with my eyes, but my heart was feeling a sadness and heaviness for the other things that were happening in other parts of the world.
Winter Solstice represents a day of darkness that is full of trauma for too many dissociative trauma survivors. The night was far too scary, far too difficult, far too dark, far too long.
Many of you know what I am speaking of and I don’t have to go into the gory details for you to know the pain and anguish you have probably already been feeling all day.
If this kind of history applies to you, I am sorry that you had to experience such horrible atrocities in your lifetime. I can promise you it was not right nor good nor ok that you were required to participate in such darkness.
I wish the world was not so dark.
I wish that evil didn’t have such a hold on so many people.
I wish that kindness and gentleness could win all wars.
I wish those creeps that enjoy inflicting pain would inflict it on themselves, and leave the rest of us alone.
I wish it was just an ordinary night for you, and not a night of darkness.
I am sorry that you were hurt.
I wish they had never ever showed you any of their darkness.
I hope that you find freedom, safety and a lifetime of distance from their darkness.
__________
By:
Kathy Broady LCSW
www.AbuseConsultants.com
www.SurvivorForum.com
Copyright © 2008-2010 Kathy Broady LCSW and Discussing Dissociation
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March 20, 2010
Posted in Depression, DID Education, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotional pain, Mind Control, Ritual Abuse, Self Injury, Therapy and Counseling tagged Abuse, AbuseConsultants.com, Amnesia, Anxiety, Change of Seasons, Dallas TX, Dark Parts, Dark Side, Darkness, Depressed, Depression, DID / MPD, DID Survivors, dissociative disorders, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Divided Selves, Divided System, Fall Equinox, Feeling Depressed, Feeling Suicidal, First day of spring, Grounding Techniques, Having a bad week, Isolating from Others, Kathy Broady, Losing Time, Lost Time, Missing Time, Night Parts, RA, Ritual Abuse, Ritually Abused, Season Change, Seasons, Seasons Changing, Self Harm, Self Injury, SI, Social Isolation, Spiritual Abuse, Spring Equinox, Suicidal, Suicidal Thoughts, Summer Solstice, Time Loss, Trauma, Trauma Survivors, Winter Solstice at 12:25 am by Kathy Broady
.
This weekend is another season change.
For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, it will be the first day of spring.
The first day of spring, the first day of summer, the first day of autumn, and the first day of winter are all significant and difficult days for many trauma survivors with dissociative identity disorder (DID / MPD).
Because these dates are a little obscure, and the reasons for the trouble may not be obvious, many DID survivors may not understand why they have difficulties on these dates. I’m not going to go into great detail for why these dates are difficult, I just want to state that they often are.
Please check with your therapist, especially if you find yourself struggling this weekend. Have you noticed any of the following symptoms:
- Stronger, more frequent pulls towards self-injury or self-destructive thoughts, or even suicidal ideation
- Isolating or withdrawing from people that care about you
- Feeling darker on the inside
- Feeling different, as if something on the inside is changing
- Feeling like your system is shifting to another set of insiders
- Finding yourself with more missing time, or more episodes of amnesia
- Seeing new parts inside, or at least other parts that are less familiar to you
- Pulls to have contact with people who are not always the safest of people
- Intense flashbacks or body memories
- Depression, or disinterest in your normal daily activities
- Increased fear, anxiety, tension, feelings of conflict, etc.
The equinox dates (first days of spring and autumn) and the solstice dates (first days of summer and winter) are difficult weekends for lots of survivors.
There will be reasons for your reaction to these weekends. Talk further with your therapist about what is going on for you.
In the meantime, do a lot of grounding techniques. Work hard to stay connected to the here and now, and stay with people you know to be safe. Try to enjoy the sunshine, stay warm, and let yourself stay busy with activities that you know are positive.
———-
By:
Kathy Broady LCSW
www.AbuseConsultants.com
www.SurvivorForum.com
Copyright © 2008-2010 Kathy Broady LCSW and Discussing Dissociation
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