December 7, 2010
Posted in Child Alters, Depression, DID Education, DID/MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotional pain, Puppies, Therapy Homework Ideas tagged Abuse, AbuseConsultants.com, Alone, Anxiety, Anxious, Baby puppies, Betrayal, Comfort, Companion Animals, Companionship, Depression, DID / MPD, DID Survivors, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotional pain, Fear of People, Feeling Isolated, Getting enough exercise, Grounding Techniques, Heartbroken, High blood pressure, Hurting, Kathy Broady, loyal companions, man's best friend, Neglected, Neglected Children, Olde English Bulldog, Olde English Bulldogge, Pitbull, Positive self-care, Puppies, Puppies five days old, Puppies one day old, Reducing Stress, Self Care, Sleeping, Social Anxiety, Staying Grounded, Stressed, Stressed out, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thinking, Taking good care of yourself, Therapeutic Service Dogs, Time Distortion, Trauma Survivors, Ways to reduce stress at 11:57 pm by Kathy Broady
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Let sleeping dogs lie….
We’ve all heard the phrase said over and over. It means to leave something the way it is because disturbing it would cause more trouble or additional complications. Fine, fine, fine. Maybe for today, I’ll not address the troublemakers in life. Heaven knows, I’ve run into more than enough of my fair share of dogs that lie…. But ok, I’ll respect the wisdom of the phrase and for now, I will save those spicy little topics for another day.
But there are other sleeping dogs that I am going to mess with right now.
Have a look at these little beauties!
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precious little puppies at five days old
three little brown bulldogs, all girls!
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Aren’t these just the cutest pile of puppies?!!!!
There are seven little ones here, all piled up together. It’s funny to see how they sleep all stacked on each other. It seems they would be a little uncomfortable getting squished like that (would you like to have someone sleeping on your head??!!), but apparently, these little sweeties like the warmth and closeness they feel when being snuggled close to each other. In these pictures, they are just five days old. Their eyes or ears are not yet opened, and they can’t walk or bark.
I’m trying to just let them sleep peacefully… but you know… it’s just absolutely impossible to not pick up these little sweethearts and to enjoy their little super soft squirmy selves for awhile! Besides, the phrase is not “let sleeping puppies lie”!!
There is something about baby puppies, or baby kittens, or baby horses that just makes the heart melt. They just make you feel good! They bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart. Spending time with little baby critters is just the most wonderful experience.
Are you feeling depressed? Spending time with a puppy close by your side really can help your depression. The very presence of that tiny little being can lift your spirits.
Are you feeling isolated and alone? A puppy as a companion can become your very best friend. Dogs can get as deeply attached to you as you do to them, and they will show you, repeatedly, how important you are to them and how valuable you are.
Is your heart hurting? A puppy can provide some of the best comfort you’ll ever find. Dogs will snuggle up beside you, they will look deep into your eyes, and their hearts can feel your pain. They will sit with you, and stay beside you, and their warm gentle presence will create a very healing experience.
Have you been betrayed and abused by people? A puppy will grow up to be your most loyal confidant. They truly do live up to the reputation that they are “man’s best friend”. A puppy won’t turn on you or hurt you like people do.
Are you feeling anxious or stressed and do you have high blood pressure? Spending time with a puppy will help you to feel calmer and give you ways to relax, to breathe, and to not feel as intense or upset.
Do you have suicidal tendencies or suicidal ideation? A puppy will give you more reason to live, and more reason to get through those dark moments of time. Your love, care, and concern for your puppy can be strong enough to keep you from killing yourself. Your puppy can help to save your life.
Do you have social anxiety or a fear of people? A puppy will provide a safety barrier for you in public. Dogs will give you an added sense of safety and protection when you are outdoors, and they can become the focus of brief social conversations, giving you something to speak about. Dogs can also become an easy “reason to excuse yourself” if you need to find a way to politely exit a people-scene.
Do you have dissociative identity disorder? A puppy will develop a relationship with each of the people in your system, and your puppy will know and recognize the difference between your different selves. Child parts often hold dear to their pets and puppies, and they are certainly a positive addition to any dissociative trauma survivor’s treatment team
Have you grown up as a neglected child and do you have trouble taking care of yourself? A puppy does not like to be neglected and has to be tended every day. Learning to take care of the needs of a pet can be very helpful in terms of teaching basic life skills such as remembering to eat, learning to meet regular self-care needs, etc.
Do you have trouble staying grounded or do you have issues with time distortion? A puppy can help you to see and remember that you are in the current day, place, and time.
Do you have difficulties getting enough exercise? A puppy can encourage and promote more exercise. Puppies love to play and like to go on walks. Having fun with your puppy will typically require some exercise on your part. What a fun way to exercise!
There are bunches of benefits to having a puppy!
As you can see, absolutely, and without a doubt, therapeutic service dogs and companion animals can make a significant difference in your life.
If you don’t yet have one of your own, have another quick look at these little cuties, and think about the ways that a puppy could improve your quality of life.
seven little puppies sleeping, one day old
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I hope you enjoy your puppy too!
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By:
Kathy Broady LCSW
www.AbuseConsultants.com
www.SurvivorForum.com
Copyright © 2008-2010 Kathy Broady LCSW and Discussing Dissociation
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December 27, 2008
Posted in DID Education, DID/MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, therapy tagged Angry, Appreciation, Child Part, Comfort, Comforting, Compassion, Dangerous, DID, DID / MPD, DID/MPD, dissociative, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Family, Goal, Haven, Healing, Inside People, Insider, Internal, Internal Landscape, Internal Part, Internal System, Internal World, Kathy Broady, Kind, Kindness, Listen, Multiple, Need, Neglect, Neglected, Neglectful, Poorly, Process, Respect, Safe, Self Care, Self-hatred, Skill, Spouse, Support, Supportive, System, System Work, Therapeutic, Therapist, therapy, Therapy Work, Trauma Survivor, Trustworthy at 11:55 pm by Kathy Broady
Hey everyone…
Thanks for coming back and reading more of the Discussing Dissociation blog. It’s exciting to see the number of site viewers growing each week – I think you all must be spreading the news! I appreciate all of you who have already become regular readers, and thanks for telling your friends.
As a follow-up to yesterday’s post about giving- making- creating- providing new and positive experiences for your internal child parts, I want to encourage all the multiples here to expand that idea to include your whole system on an even wider scale. This idea applies to non-multiples too, of course, but since we are “discussing dissociation” here, I’m going to write about these idea within the context of DID / MPD.
I have found that most dissociative trauma survivors have a fair bit of trouble understanding how to be genuinely kind to their inside people. It is very similar to being nice, and kind, and accepting towards outside people, but the effort gets directed to your own insiders instead of outside people.
I could explore the many different reasons for this. Is it because your family treated you so poorly? Were you so hideously neglected that taking care of yourself is truly a skill you have yet to learn? Is it because you truly believe you don’t deserve anything nice? Is it that you are full of self-hatred that you won’t be kind to yourself? Is that you are so angry at anyone (everyone?) that it is easier or essential to take it out on yourself? I don’t know. I’ll leave those questions with you to think about.
For now, I want to focus on what kind things you actually do for your internal system.
- What do you do to be nice to your inside people? What did you do this week?
- What do you do to show the others in your system appreciation and kindness?
- What do you do to encourage them through the hard parts of therapy work?
Think about all the different kinds of things you can do for your people on the inside. Your internal world — your internal landscape — is totally your own world. It belongs to you and only you and your internal system. You and your insiders control that inner world. You all can truly make a huge impact by doing nice, kind, gentle, supportive, and comforting things for each other in there on that level. Even if you can’t afford to buy things in the external world, you can do things for free on the inside worlds. Your inner world can be a true haven and a place that is comfortable and “just right”.
When you can see the others inside, and when you listen to them, and pay attention to each other, you will be able to recognize their needs and then do something about it to make their day better. Taking better care of your insiders will have a huge impact on your life, your system work, your healing process, and your external world.
One of the biggest keys to your overall healing depends on how YOU all treat your own system and internal parts. Do you support each other inside? Do you take the time to be kind to each other inside? Do you comfort each other inside? What do you do to help each other inside? Do you treat each other with respect? Are you trustworthy with each other?
For those that are DID, I believe that one of the most significant therapy goals is doing INTERNAL self care. Look at your others inside — share blankets and stuffies with them. Give them hugs, sit quietly with them. Meet their needs, clean up the messes, give them clean clothes to wear, and a quiet safe place to rest. If your inside world stays chaotic and unkept, neglected or dangerous, then how on earth are you going to feel safe or ok in the outside world? Start by addressing things in your own world, and let it ripple out from there.
The more folks learn to be there for their own selves, the less they will depend on their therapist, or spouse, or any other outside person to “take care” of them. The more you can take care of your own selves, the less it matters if someone else is busy or away for a few days. The more you take care of your own selves, the more you will feel GOOD about yourself and your ability to handle life.
Here are more questions to think about:
- What is the nicest thing that someone in your system could do for you?
- What are some of the most meaningful things you could do for them?
- How do you show the hurting ones that you have compassion for them?
- How do you show your little ones that you will protect them and keep them safe?
- What kinds of things can you do for your insiders to show them that you will help to take care of them and tend to their needs?
- How does your system respond when you are kind and attentive to them vs. being neglectful and angry towards them?
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This is an important topic — your thoughts and/or comments are welcome.
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by:
Kathy Broady LCSW
www.AbuseConsultants.com
www.SurvivorForum.com
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