December 22, 2008
Posted in DID Education, DID/MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, mental health, therapy tagged Abuse, Amnesia, Anger, Anxious, Behavior, Blaming, Change, Client, Courage, Crisis, Dangerous Relationship, Dependability, Depressed, DID/MPD, Dissociative Client, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dysfunctional, Emergency, Family, Fear, Feedback, Feeling, Frustration, Guideline, Healing, Healing Process, Hearing, Homework, Issue, Kathy Broady, Learn, Memories, Motivation, Painful, Panic, Personal Responsibility, Problem, Process, Psychotherapist, Qualities, Relationship, Resistant to Change, Responsible, Scared, Self Injury, Stability, Stable, Step, Suicidal, Suicide, Survivor, Therapeutic Option, Therapist, therapy, Toxic Relationship, Trauma, Trauma Survivor, trauma therapist, Willingness at 7:21 pm by Kathy Broady
Most clients quickly think of the many qualities they want in their therapists. However, are those clients also thinking about whether or not they are presenting themselves as the type of client someone would want to work with? As an experienced psychotherapist, I am proposing that there are many criteria for clients to consider about themselves as well as about their prospective therapists.
Many of the following issues pertain specifically to trauma survivors and those with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID/MPD).
Please consider the following concepts as important guidelines.
1. Stability
- Are you in a constant or repeated state of crisis?
- Are you looking for someone to rescue you immediately?
- Are you repeatedly in a suicidal or self-injurious panic?
- Do you make more than one emergency call every few months?
- Are you frequently in drunken states, or on the verge of over-dosing, or on the verge of self-injury or suicide?
Most therapists are not as interested in taking on heavily crisis-laden clients. The more stable you are, the more therapeutic options you will find.
2. Dependability
- Do you show up for every appointment?
- Do you cancel at the last minute?
- Do you pay for your sessions up-front and without issue, irritation, or complication?
- Do you do you keep your word, and follow through with the things you say you will do?
- Do you regularly pass important information between the leaders of your internal system, and not hide behind dissociative amnesia as an excuse?
The same as employers, babysitters, and doctors, therapists want to be able to count on you. They don’t want scheduling nightmares, and they don’t want to have to beg or fight for their pay. Remember, there are a lot of other people involved in each weekly schedule, so keep your time spot precious to you. Show your therapist that your therapy work matters to you.
3. Motivation and Willingness
- Are you willing to do what it takes to get through your healing process?
- Are you open to new ideas?
- Are you resistant to change? Do you react with irritation, anger, frustration, or refusals when you are expected or encouraged to change?
- Do you complete your homework each week?
- Do you bring new issues of needed work to the table? Are you presenting topics that need to be addressed? Or are you waiting for someone else to point the trouble spots out to you?
Coming to therapy typically means you are looking for some type of change in your life. If you are happy with the way things are, or you do not see any areas that need work, or you do not see any changes that you are willing to make, why are you going to therapy in the first place?
4. Courage
- Change and healing require taking new steps – both little steps and big steps. Can you do that? Will you do that?
- Are you too scared or too anxious or too depressed to try anything new?
- Are you willing to venture into difficult, complicated, painful areas of therapy work?
- Are you willing to look at painful memories when it’s therapeutically needed or recommended?
- Are you willing to look at the reality of toxic, abusive, or dangerous relationships, even those with your loved ones or family members?
Therapists can help you address your fears, your problems, and your issues, but only if you are willing to allow that to happen.
5. Personal Responsibility
- Are you willing to look at what you are doing to contribute to the problems you are experiencing?
- Are you willing to face your part of the problem, rather than focusing exclusively on blaming others?
- Are you genuinely open to hearing feedback about your issues?
- Do you retain the things you have learned from session to session, month after month? Will you be able to apply what you learn over time, or will you continue to use dysfunctional responses over and over?
- Even if you are dissociative, are your adult parts in charge of and responsible for your child parts? Are you able to maintain an adult presence when necessary?
The more responsibility you take for your own healing, your feelings, your behavior, etc, the further you will go in your healing process.
__________
(Please come back — the second half of this article will be posted tomorrow.)
__________
by:
Kathy Broady LCSW
www.AbuseConsultants.com
www.SurvivorForum.com
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December 19, 2008
Posted in DID Education, DID/MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, mental health, therapy, Therapy and Counseling, Trauma tagged Abuse, Approach to Therapy, Clinical, Communication, Conference, Conflict, Cult Abuse, Dangerous, DID Treatment, DID/MPD, Dissociation, dissociative, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Goal, Guideline, Healing, Healing Journey, Insider, Interview Process, Interview Question, Interviewing, Interviewing a new therapist, Kathy Broady, Memory Work, mental health, Mind Control, Opinion, Perspective, Policies, Proper Treatment, Qualified, Safe, Safety, Self Injury, Success, Survivor, Therapeutic Approach, Therapeutic Mismatch, Therapeutic Process, Therapist, therapy, Training, Trauma, Trauma Disorder, Trauma Specialist, Trauma Survivor, trauma therapist, Trauma-Related Issue, treatment, Treatment for DID / MPD, Treatment Goal, Trust, Valid License at 5:28 pm by Kathy Broady
It appears that several of the readers of this blog have gone through the wringer in terms of finding a good trauma therapist. When you are interviewing new therapists, in addition to clarifying that they have the skills and training it takes to provide proper treatment for your trauma issues, it is also important to ask about their approach to trauma work. Make sure their views match or blend with your own views, otherwise there will be conflicts ahead. There are a number of different approaches to trauma work – just as there are tons of different recipes for how to make a loaf of bread. It isn’t that one way is “THE” right way. You and/or the therapist may have very strong opinions for what works best, but the point that matters is if you agree with how your therapist approaches the issues with you.
For example, if someone said to me, “Help me get rid of all these pesky little parts that are irritating me. I want them totally gone and removed from my head.” Oh, well, you see… there are some therapists that would gladly approach therapy work with that goal in mind. I, on the other hand, would have a cow. A really big cow. If someone wanted me to help rid them of their insiders, I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it. I don’t agree with that approach, and just couldn’t be convinced to go there. In that case, this person and I would be a therapeutic mismatch. We would not be aiming for the same goal, so it would not be a good idea for us to work together.
Before you share very much of your personal system information, please take the time to interview the therapist very closely. You must be VERY sure of the safety of the therapist before you disclose about yourself on those deep levels. There are lots of great therapists out there. There are also lots of clowns claiming they are trauma specialists. They may not be dangerous people, but they can do a lot of harm by not actually knowing how to treat trauma-related issues. Please be aware, there are also “double agents” out there – people who claim to be a helping person, but are actually working to support the dark side. Interview all therapists very very closely to make sure you find someone who is both safe and qualified.
When interviewing new therapists, some of the important areas to consider are:
Direct Experience:
- How many years of experience do you have in working with trauma disorders?
- How many dissociative survivors have you met?
- How many survivors with dissociative identity disorder have you treated (as the primary clinician)?
- What percentage of your practice has been filled by clients with trauma-related issues?
- Do you have a web-site, any books, articles, or outside referral sources that can confirm your experience?
Education:
- Where did you first learn about trauma and dissociation?
- Who have you studied with, and/or who mentored or supervised your early years of trauma work?
- What conferences and training programs have you attended?
- What have you done to build and develop your expertise in the trauma field?
- Where do you go for help if you have a clinical question?
- Do you have a valid mental health license, and can you verify that your license is in good standing?
Approach:
- In your opinion, what are the most important aspects of trauma work?
- In your opinion, what do people need to do to process their trauma?
- In your opinion, how long does it take to work through trauma-related issues?
- What do you do if someone is stuck on a particular trauma-related issue?
- How do you manage issues related to self-injury?
- What are your office policies for emergency situations?
- What are your policies and guidelines for regular therapy sessions?
- If I need additional support between therapy sessions, what do you recommend?
- What do you think of “so and so’s” approach to therapy? (insert the names of your favorite trauma therapists or authors)
- What are your thoughts about ritualized abuse, cult abuse, and organized abuse?
Dissociative Specialty Questions:
- How do you define Dissociative Identity Disorder?
- In your words, what is involved in the treatment process for Dissociative Disorders?
- When do you approach trauma / memory work?
- In your opinion, when is a client not ready to do memory work?
- What are your beliefs / perspectives about who the alters are?
- Do you speak directly to insiders? Why, or why not?
- Do you prefer all communication to go directly through the host / adult / front part? Why, or why not?
- What kinds of homework will you expect my system to do outside of the therapy sessions?
- What are your beliefs and approaches to integration?
- How do you define “success” in terms of treatment goals for DID / MPD?
- Have you ever worked with mind control issues? If so, what do you do?
Of course, as you go through the interview process, be sure to ask clarifying questions about the answers you are being given. Any therapist that understands trauma disorders is going to understand why you need to check them out thoroughly. Needing time to build trust is obvious, and having the same theoretical foundation is critical.
These are not personal questions. Keep your questions focused on the type of work that will happen in the therapeutic environment, and not on the therapist as a person.
Before you get emotionally attached to a therapist, please make sure that their approach fits with how you want to proceed with your own therapy.
Your healing journey belongs to you. You get to decide how it will look, and what paths you will take. Working with a therapist that fits with what you want is critically important. Otherwise, you will waste a lot of precious healing time struggling with opposite or conflicting goals. The journey will go much smoother if you and your trusted therapist approach your healing process from the same wavelength.
__________
by:
Kathy Broady LCSW
www.AbuseConsultants.com
www.SurvivorForum.com
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