December 21, 2010
It’s WinterTime Here in Texas
Well…. it’s December 21, 2010. Although the weather here in Dallas was nearly 80 degrees Fahrenheit today, this is the official first day of winter. It’s the Winter Solstice and on top of that, last night was the lunar eclipse. Did anyone see that? If you can actually enjoy the moon, it was pretty cool to see.
However, late last night while I was standing alone outside, quietly looking at the lunar eclipse, I could appreciate the beauty with my eyes, but my heart was feeling a sadness and heaviness for the other things that were happening in other parts of the world.
Winter Solstice represents a day of darkness that is full of trauma for too many dissociative trauma survivors. The night was far too scary, far too difficult, far too dark, far too long.
Many of you know what I am speaking of and I don’t have to go into the gory details for you to know the pain and anguish you have probably already been feeling all day.
If this kind of history applies to you, I am sorry that you had to experience such horrible atrocities in your lifetime. I can promise you it was not right nor good nor ok that you were required to participate in such darkness.
I wish the world was not so dark.
I wish that evil didn’t have such a hold on so many people.
I wish that kindness and gentleness could win all wars.
I wish those creeps that enjoy inflicting pain would inflict it on themselves, and leave the rest of us alone.
I wish it was just an ordinary night for you, and not a night of darkness.
I am sorry that you were hurt.
I wish they had never ever showed you any of their darkness.
I hope that you find freedom, safety and a lifetime of distance from their darkness.
__________
By:
Kathy Broady LCSW
Copyright © 2008-2010 Kathy Broady LCSW and Discussing Dissociation
brinarebel said,
December 22, 2010 at 1:35 am
being and australian during that event and it being a summer solstice wasnt much fun either here, thats for sure.
allofus
sallysmith86 said,
December 22, 2010 at 7:37 am
Thank you Ms. Kathy
Our body person does not know it is scary or why but she knowd that everybody was bouncy and she only gotto be up front for a couple of hours. Our body person does not feel good either but nobody knows why 
We do not like this time of year we want Christmas and new years to be over.
Brittany
pilgrimchild said,
December 22, 2010 at 9:49 am
yesterday and last night was such a hard day with all so much bad on 1 day and we are so glad its over with. now we just have to figure out how to get over all the hard stuff from yesterday but at least its over so thats the good part
Nansie said,
December 22, 2010 at 11:26 am
That was a nice post Kathy. I know what you mean about them showing us their darkness. I believe I saw the gates of hell in my mother’s eyes. I am able to describe that now…I wasn’t before. The holidays are hard for me. I think mostly because of the added stress…with DID I think I am already functioning at max stress in normal day to day life just to maintain some sense of balance. I am ok with day to day stressors too. But then something like Christmas is huge and in your face all the time and it just puts the last straw on. Then the memories just confuse it all again. I fight hard to hang onto the good in my life…sometimes I can’t and I feel like I’m sinking and no one can help me.
The darkness is scary because things can be done and hidden from sight that would be seen during daylight. Also…darkness is unpredictable because you can’t see everything either. Things can happen at night while others are asleep and unavailable to create a presence that would stop the evil. I haven’t learned how to live with this all yet but I am working on it in therapy. My childlike parts are becoming more prevelant as time goes by. My anger and frustration for the suffering I went through as a child is becoming stronger too. Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness become the end result. It is definately overwhelming at times.
Well the darkest day of the year is over now and little by little the days will get longer again. I like that. I also like the sight of the fresh fallen snow and watching the snow fall. It is cleansing and pure. Speaking of that how are the pups doing?
Merry Christmas to you and everyone in blogworld!!
winterskeeper2 said,
December 22, 2010 at 11:28 am
Hello Kathy,
Thank you for remembering. As my “name” might suggest, I remember also. The further away in time and space that I get from what once was my life, the more I am able to enjoy the season as it was meant to be.
To all of those suffering now… it can and will get better as you work toward healing. I never used to believe that, but it is true. Move toward all that is light, and it will surround you and protect you from the darkness that follows.
Peace to all,
Winter’s Keeper